Is abstinence realistic?

No says Bristol Palin (Sarah Palin’s pregnant teenager daughter).

34 Responses to “Is abstinence realistic?”

  1. 1 Mohammed Ali
    February 17, 2009 at 13:28

    Abstinence is only realistic for virgins. For those who have already tasted the sweetness of sex, abstinence is prctically impossible.

  2. 2 Steve
    February 17, 2009 at 13:57

    In instant gratification societies, like the US, abstinence is unrealistic, but not in other cultures. The US is a “I want this, and want this right now” or they throw a childish tantrum type of culture, so abstinence is not a realistic goal here.

  3. 3 Donnamarie in Switzerland
    February 17, 2009 at 14:56

    Sex is a biological imperative. If some people chose, for religious or cultural reasons, to ignore that fact, they are certainly entitled to do so. But they have no business trying to force others to follow their refusal to acknowledge the fact that sex IS a biological imperative.

    What consenting adults do in private is no one’s business but their own.

  4. 4 Morf
    February 17, 2009 at 15:07


    Isn’t that a fascinating word to justify one’s actions?

    Is staying married “Realistic”?

    Is working full-time “Realistic”?

    Is the internet “Realistic”?

    Bristol clearly carries on her mother’s tradition of speaking in a way that uses language to obscure and evade reality in a manner that is inherently incomprehensible.

  5. 5 Ian from Arizona
    February 17, 2009 at 15:15

    Abstinence is not realistic. Knowledge is the best defense. That being said, that does not mean that abstinence should not be taught. Abstinence should be taught in sex education classes. The best protection against STD or unwanted pregnancy is to abstain from sex.

  6. 6 gary
    February 17, 2009 at 15:20

    Abstinence is a manifestation of force of will. In the US, very few boomers, or their offspring, have anything near the amount of discipline required to engage in even mild displays of “will power” about anything at all. However, a few of the elder generation can stiil do so.

  7. February 17, 2009 at 15:27

    Abstinence isn’t realistic — for everyone, anyway. Some people can manage it, others can’t. The ones who can are in the minority and it has nothing to do with “instant gratification” or anything like that. It’s simply a powerful biological urge — far more so with teens than anyone else. It’s not unrealistic to educate them and train them on how best to take care of themselves, but it’s extremely unrealistic to expect them to control themselves completely in any culture or environment, not just the West.

  8. 8 Marija Liudvika Rutkauskaite
    February 17, 2009 at 15:45

    It depends on a person’s will and character, of which abstinence will take more than other actions, and abstinence is realistic. A rigid law can hardly be made of this judgement but in so far as sex and nudity have been made a purchase on every market and every cover, abstinence can be moderately proposed publicly and definitley in family circles. If drinking should advisably be started in favourable social contexts, sex and abstinence should be handled with more privacy and tenderness. Those families will do well which warn their girls to be steel abstinent to brutes or read with them ‘Ethiopic Tales’ by Heliodorus, where a princess makes chastity her creed and prayer. I agree with those commentators who said that it is the private business of the adults, but it would be good if the adults, the immediate and related community were dignified, sterling in morals and alien to “philistine liberalism”. And above all, if the prying strangers abstained from interference with the life of children, teenagers and families, especially when these attract because they are fine. Thank you

  9. 9 Anthony
    February 17, 2009 at 15:48

    I’m on board with Mohammed Ali. It’s like Heroine. Once you have it, you’ll want it for the rest of your life. Abstinence is very realistic for those who have never had it though.

    I wish I never had sex…. life would be so much easier πŸ™‚

    -Anthony, LA, CA

  10. 10 David Anumah
    February 17, 2009 at 15:52

    it is possible. i am 25 and am still abstaining. am a vergin by choice. it is possible

  11. 11 Brian
    February 17, 2009 at 16:59

    It takes will power, yes – and will power that not everyone has. But it’s an unrealistic expectation. For thousands of years until now, women have normally been married off and become mothers by their mid to late teens. It is, therefore, unrealistic to think that in the last 100 years or so, that folks from both genders can quite easily abstain from a rather strong biological drive until they’re married – especially since folks marry at a substantially older age than they did a few generations ago.
    But, like others have said, it takes will power if a person wants to. They shouldn’t be forced to. If you want to wait, good for you. If you don’t, you shouldn’t be chastised.

  12. 12 Ron S. from Ft Myers Florida
    February 17, 2009 at 17:14

    Abstinence is about as realistic as me growing hair to the floor in 5 seconds…which would be a miracle, considering I have been bald since I was 30..and that 10 years ago. πŸ™‚

  13. 13 Donald F.
    February 17, 2009 at 17:23

    Of course abstinence is realistic. Its a public policy that insists on it that is unrealistic.

  14. 14 Monique
    February 17, 2009 at 17:39

    It can be done. I have been doing it for years…

  15. 15 Dennis Junior
    February 17, 2009 at 18:24

    Is abstinence realistic?
    Not really in most cultures around the world…It’s sobering news that Bristol Palin is able to come to the realization of saying it is not realistic…

    ~Dennis Junior~

  16. February 17, 2009 at 18:50

    Why are we talking about this? Some choose abstinence while others want nothing to do with it. Abstinence for the majority of us is not realistic given that we are sexual beings who procreate.

  17. February 18, 2009 at 02:59

    Dear Sir,

    Miss Palin does not seem to know her mind and hides behind ambiguous statements to disguise her inability to have any response as to why abstinence is not necessary.

    This is a poor advertisement for or against abstinence.


  18. 18 Justin Gittens From Trinidad & Tobago
    February 18, 2009 at 03:49

    Abstinence is indeed realistic! I am 26 years old and I know of many others who also abstain from sex outside of marriage. I believe it mainly has to do with perception, values and the principles by which one chooses to live their life. There is power in choice!

  19. 19 Jennifer
    February 18, 2009 at 05:51

    It would have been nice if you would have posted the rest of the video instead of just a 42 second snip influencing this conversation. Or does that not go well with the image that many try to portray of Sarah Palin and her family?

    Here’s a link to the full video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnBPZWX_oIc

    I am happy for this young girl who, obviously, did not plan to be a teenage mother but seems to be doing well. I wish her and her family the best! πŸ™‚ . Why would anyone wish her less? I think I know the answer to that one…..

    Nothing says run out there and have sex quite like the risk of catching an STD like AIDS. You know, there are people I have met that I would much rather throw a pie in their face than have to be around them but I would never do that. It’s called restraint; and it keeps you on the right path! πŸ™‚

    When people realize the BENEFITS of waiting to have sex and our society decides it’s not something to be discouraged; maybe we can see less unplanned pregnancy and STDs.

    I don’t believe it that people get so loopy they loose their sensibilities when it comes to sex. That’s just an excuse.

  20. 20 Auspicious Ndamuwa
    February 18, 2009 at 10:02

    Abstinence is as real as the air we breath the only draw back is that most people do not care for whether they are closer to a chimney that contaminates the air they breath or in a garden where the air is as natural as it can be.
    It takes will power and religious committment to practise abstinence.

  21. February 18, 2009 at 17:32

    If you believe in self-discipline, the you believe abstinence is possible and I am a believer in that. But what I don’t believe in is when conservatives parade around in their ‘Holier than thou’ attitude in such a hypocritical manner.

  22. February 18, 2009 at 18:24

    There are a number of mental disorders in the DMSR that cannot be classified in adolescence because of the intense hormonal changes and fluctuations in teenagers. To expect them all to stay sane about the insanity of desire as they are first riding the roller coaster is laughable. They need noisy, intrusive aunts to interrupt their privacy if you want to enforce abstinence.

    I was scared to have sex before I had a diploma in my hand, but you cannot make everyone feel that way. Some young couples are in a collective hallucination so erotic all you can do is toss them condoms or hose them off.

    We need kids to use their abilities to make good choices, not to be perfect. Religion and dogma keeps mothers from saying “take an AIDS test together before you engage and use protection if you cannot resist.”

  23. 23 Jennifer
    February 18, 2009 at 19:32

    Re: But what I don’t believe in is when conservatives parade around in their β€˜Holier than thou’ attitude in such a hypocritical manner.

    Are you talking about Bristol? If so, I find nothing hypocritical in either her actions or her mother’s actions. Sarah Palin is Pro-life but is not for abstinence only sex education. There is nothing “holier than thou” about either one of them. Obviously, they “talk the talk and walk the walk”. No hypocrites there! πŸ™‚

    I think some people just get a little intimidated by those types of people. Maybe it brings out their own inferiority complex.

    Re: Some young couples are in a collective hallucination so erotic all you can do is toss them condoms or hose them off.

    Parents have a responsibility to their children; no matter what happens to give them guidance. That entails more than tossing them condoms and hosing them off! Children, people, are not perfect, but that does not absolve responsibility from parenting our children; who are our future!

    Being religious does not mean someone lives in the stone age. It doesn’t mean that someone does not use the advances of science; including AIDS testing, if necessary.

    Condoms are NOT 100% effective in preventing pregnancy or disease; neither are other items like the patch, pill, or any others. That is why abstinence is a good thing in my view; it is the only 100% effective way to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancy. However, it’s about more than that; seeing sex as something that is great in the right situation but not to be confused with LOVE.

    Thank you for reminding me how much I love my mom because she cared enough to give me guidance. Sometimes, more than I wanted but always for my betterment!

  24. 24 Tom D Ford
    February 18, 2009 at 19:36

    Abstinence is its’ own punishment.

  25. 25 Matthew Houston
    February 19, 2009 at 14:25

    I think it’s fair to say something similar:

    People who promote abstinence aren’t generally giving realistic/practical advice on dealing with real pressures. Sex has a slick multi-tiered global marketing campaign. The advocates for abstinence just don’t seem to have the same commitment to making their product sell.

  26. 26 Matthew Houston
    February 19, 2009 at 14:33

    If the promoters of abstinence really want to be effective, they should switch their marketing focus away from negative advertising (don’t have sex) to positive advertising (have honeymoon sex that is better than years of promiscuous sex). Maybe they shouldn’t even focus on abstinence, because the word depends on the absence of something. Promote the honeymoon and a lifetime of better sex.

  27. 27 nana
    February 20, 2009 at 15:50

    I believe that it is unrealistic to blanket that expectation over everyone. Some people choose to abstain, so be it. My problem with this situation is the effect it has over the dispersal of information about the subject. I’ve talked to kids about this and it seems that the ones most affected about the ideas of abstinence are also the ones that aren’t even familiar with their own anatomy. That’s terrifying. I guess what I’m trying to say is that abstinence should be a fully formed decision, not one brought out by being left in the dark.

  28. 28 Richard
    February 20, 2009 at 18:03

    I have a friend of many years who, at age 28, just married last week. He and his wife were virgins, and I am proud of him. We should be careful when deeming something “unrealistic” when we really mean to say “very difficult”

  29. 29 jade
    February 20, 2009 at 18:49

    it’s not realistic for people who’ve learned to enjoy sec and can have sex with just anyone – needs no love nor spiritual connections. maybe, that’s a gender difference. it’s easier for men to enjoy mechanical sex.

  30. 30 Emile Barre
    February 21, 2009 at 12:42

    To the rational mind, abstinence and promiscuity are realistic.

  31. 31 tom a
    February 21, 2009 at 21:16

    i agree, abstinence is an act of determination and will power. however, in a society (namely, american) that throws sexuality in our faces CONSTANTLY, it is a tough line to walk. whether it’s magazines, advertising, the internet, or television, it is everywhere. unless you don’t leave your house or go online, you can not get away from it. how can anyone resist the temptation when it is constantly in your face? of course, give it as an alternative. but it is completely irresponsible to teach abstinence without also teaching other effective methods of birth control and std prevention.

  32. 32 Damas Ryoba
    February 23, 2009 at 11:02

    I’m of the opinion that abstinence is very possible, but for a certain period of time and not throughout someones life. I had sex for the first time at the age of 21 years and then stopped until when I reached27 years.

  33. 33 yaya
    March 12, 2009 at 03:36

    i agree with the person above me .. it is very realistic

    i am proof. lol and i dont do it for religious reasons.. i just see sex as intimate and i havent found the right person πŸ˜›

  34. 34 ak
    October 13, 2009 at 01:55

    im 17 almost 18 and yes i will be not i hope i’ll be i WILL be abstinent till i am married.
    1 i will be STD free
    2 i will have a gift more intimate than any words one can say or gift one can buy for my husband
    3 it will be new, wonderful and amazing what am i talking about words wont even describe it
    4 i cant wait i’ll have a lot of time to prepare
    im not listening to stupid adults tell me its impossible unrealistic and dumb.
    i feel bad for them they let pleasure and the world influence their thinking. lets just say im learning from thier mistakes

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