Barack Obama has said sorry to a reporter for calling her ’sweetie’. He said it’s a ‘bad habit’ he has and meant no harm. The reporter doesn’t sound unduly put out, but clearly the Obama camp thought it warranted an apology. Do you?
If you’re a woman, do you get called sweetie, darling, love, my love, honey, pet or any of the terms that are often used by men? And more to point do you care?
And if you’re a man, would you use one of these phrases? Do you think they could be offensive, or if not that a little patronising? Are these the words of a time that should pass? If men and women are equals, can anyone gettting away with calling a stranger sweetie?
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Wow, looks like some reporter wanted her 15 minutes. If you ever travel to the south, a waitress will call a male she has never met before “sugar” or “honey”. People only seem to get offended these days when they are looking to get offended. Are waitresses trying to offend their customers or do women need some sort of special protection against the same thing?
When I was in college, my on-campus boss told me it was demeaning to call a group of college females “girls.” According to him, every time I referred to my friends as sorority girls, etc. I was undermining the power of their femininity.
I personally don’t care. I more often than not get call the “b” word over any sort of endearing sentiment.
Cheers from Cleveland!
Erin
This brings back memories of the http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/04/14/do-blacks-and-asians-have-to-behave-like-white-people-to-succeed/ WHYS post a few weeks back when John and Linda on the phone claimed that they was discriminated against and forced to ‘act white’ because people at their work or in society didn’t want to be called ‘dear’ by them.
I don’t ever use the phrases or names, sweetie, sweetheart, dear, hun, honey, etc., unless I know the person like that and we are both comfortable and on terms to use names other than the names our parents gave us. Lol.
I can see how it is offensive, especially working part time in the service/bar industry. Some of the girls I have worked with and do work with have gotten a bit frustrated with patrons calling them these names. Many times the names are also followed by inappropriate comments or actions. Just as often though they are harmless and kindhearted gestures and remarks. It is just cultural (and often generational) difference, though it really is better to stay away from it. You never know in what way someone will take being called such names.
Regards,
Brett ~ Richmond, Va.
Calling a woman sweetie or honey is definitely patronizing, if not offensive. If I were a woman I definitely wouldn’t want to be called so especially by a stranger.
Although Obama has apologized for using the word, he knows that frequent use of that word isn’t going to help his campaign in any way.
@ Rabin, but it’s not a problem for women to call men sweetie or honey? I get called that by waitresses all the time, especially when in the south.
@ Steve:
If you ever travel to the south, a waitress will call a male she has never met before “sugar” or “honey”.
Great point! I didn’t even think about that. I am called sugar, sweetie, or honey, in restaurants by females more than I see males doing it to females.
And now that you mention it, it is socially acceptable for females to do it! Every female bartender at my part time job calls male patrons some form of sugar, sweetie, honey, etc.
Oh the double standard!!!
There was no need to apologise. I heard an audio clip of the exchange, and it was conveyed as a neutral term of endearment because of the bland semantic implication of the word, as well as the tone of voice with which it was conveyed. I stand with the reporter, who was unphased, as well as Barack, who shouldn’t have to worry about referring to anyone, male or female, as sweety. Lubna is well able to shed light on this. She is the queen of innocent endearments :=) .
@ Brett, any chance for discounted drinks? wink wink.
Many times, and this is a pretty interesting point.
An ‘ugly’ person that calls someone sweetie or hun or any other form of the terms, is often deemed by the person and often others to be sexually harassing, or not meant in an innocent way, regardless of the intended meaning or message.
A ‘hot’ or sexually attractive person who does the same, is often taken much more lightly and often accepted, again, regardless of the intended meaning or message.
SNL or MAD TV did a skit about this, I forget which one, but boy was it spot on. It was on sexual harassment in the workplace.
I also used to see this daily when I worked full time in the service industry. And still see it occasionally now that I’m part time.
Of course in politics, this is all out the window. Everyone is out to get everyone in this game.
I so agree with Shirley. I really think one needs to look at the context and tone of the personal using the “endearment.” One of the radio stations I listen to here in Portland has a DJ that calls every woman who calls in sweetie and every man dude. He says he does it because he cannot possibly remember names of everyone but wants the caller to know he appreciates them. Brett is correct in that it is also a generational thing and Steve is correct that in the south, everyone is honey, dear, sweetie. If the person is being patronizing, then it is wrong, but when used harmlessly, it is no big deal. I don’t think it will hurt Sen. Obama’s campaign. If Sen. McCain had used it, it would be a bigger issue. Sen. Obama comes across as more friendly and open than Sen. McCain does (my opinion).
@ Steve:
any chance for discounted drinks? wink wink.
*crosses the line*
Only if I can call you sweetie
*jumps back on the right side of the line*
@ Erin:
When I was in college, my on-campus boss told me it was demeaning to call a group of college females “girls.”
Wow, that to me is taking it a bit far… Interesting that it was a male boss saying that.
@ Brett
As a female former coworker of mine said to me once, “it’s only sexual harassment if you aren’t attracted”…
It was an SNL skit, with Tom Brady, called “Sexual Harassment and You”. Here it is:
http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1394
I think it’s all about the tone of voice. You can tell when someone says it out of habit vs. treating you like an idiot/hitting on you at your place of work. The latter is the only one that remotely bothers me.
Always,
Laura in Minneapolis
look I’ve worked with people who have used these terms and you just know in your gut that it is NOT a term of endearment- it is a put down….
most of the time? it is just a way some people have of speaking. 99.9 percent of the time I don’t mind at all.
I have know and still know many people over the years- men and women- who have used honey, sweetheart, darling, sweetie- it is just their way of speaking..
I gotta agree with Steve on this one (is the earth shaking?)
Making mountains out of a very small molehill-
Hi WHYS! Interesting topic! I will certainly agree with Shirley about Lubna, whose posts I absolutely love to read…Precious Lubna! LOL!
But, seriously, I was in the supermarket one day a few weeks ago and a woman came up to me and said: “where can I find the…dear?”, to which I responded: “I don’t know, love!” Of course, she immediately bristled and then asked whether I worked in the supermarket, to which I responded with a cheerful “no” and walked on. Of course, I later saw why she asked, I was wearing similar shirt to what the other people who work in the supermarket do! I thought the entire experience was very funny!
But, beyond that, my main reason for responding as I did was the way in which “dear” was not really intended to be kind so much as patronising - a sort of dimunition as it were. By the way, she was alot older than me, so….!
But, for what it is worth, I think that terms like those are generally patronising if not offensive, as Rabin notes. However, it is important that we do not get totally carried away by “PC” credo and recognise that contexts also determine meanings, more often than not. That means that, there will and are instances in which people understand what is being said very clearly without risk of offense, injury or hurt!
I think Obama’s people are being a touch paranoid. “Sweetie” is no more patronizing than John McCain’s use of “My friend…” which, at best, is merely disengenuous and a little obnoxious.
November can’t get here soon enough….
Hmmmh?!?! I guess it depends on who’s saying it! An old woman using those endearments sounds maternal, granny-like; but an old man would be lecherous! I was always told that men who don’t call me by my name are ‘players’, i.e, men who hit on anything female, couldn’t be bothered to remember any woman’s name, and use an endearment so that they don’t call out the wrong name!
By the way, remember the conversation we had about Lubna calling us precious? I feel, well, precious when she calls me that! Special!! And I’m old enough to be her mama!
Savane
Nairobi
To me, Sweetie is a dismissive term used by people who want to convey to other people that they are chummy and friendly, when they are really not that friendly.
It is like store employees saying, ” Have good day!” They don’t even know you are there and couldn’t care less about you.
In that context, why bother when people use such terms?
Sweetie is just another word.
I would prefer a more formal tone from someone who aspires to be the leader of the “free” world. But hey
when did we ever get what we want?
I have men call me “sweetie” and “honey” at work, and I don’t like it. I think it is chevaunistic. I ask these men to call me by first name, period. I found it offensive to call me these names.
When my husband daughter and I met Barack he called my daughter “Sweetie”…I was a little jealous! I think too much time has been spent during this Democratic Primary speculating and judging Sen. Obama. Yes sometimes being called “Sweetie” can been patronizing but I highly doubt it was in that context. Let’s talk about Health Care or our failing Economy.
I can picture it now…
To Queen Elizabeth II: “Nice tiara, Sweetie”
To Margaret Thatcher: “Yeah, Sweetie, you were a great Prime Minister”
To Nancy Pelosi: “Hey you’re rockin’ that Speaker of the House position, Sweetie”
As a 66 year old homosexual I’d like a pound for every time I’ve been called “Sweetie”. If it was meant to insult then I was insulted! More often though it was ans still is used as a term of endearment, usually by female friends.
I also have a bad habit calling female friends “darling” Occasionally I have been pulled up for doing this.
As for Barak Obahma I’m sure no insult was meant. Why all the fuss anyway?
@Selena-
have a good day is still better than
“have a good one!”.
A good what?
day, life, ice cream sundae??
I’m this close to schreeching at people who use this phrase- sorry for the digression.
Why not Oboma address Hillary with the title of “SWEETEE” she may consider to withdraw from primary.
Hello to all of you my (Precious
friends ! In Iraq according to our social tradition you’re not allowed to address people of the opposite sex (except your father, your mother, your sister, your brother, your uncle, your aunt, your husband, and your wife) as sweetie, hun, honey, my love, and stuff like that ! :-)… Although phrases like Ya Ghali i.e. O’ Precious One and Ya Tayeb i.e. O’ Good One or O’ Kind One and Ya Warda i.e. O’ flower are allowed between people of the opposite sex, only if you consider the other one to be soooooo dear to you in any possible way…. At the Anatomy lab two years ago I had a Christian professor in his early fifties who used to say Ya Warda to me everytime I answer one of his very difficult questions correctly, and I used to love that alot from him ! :-)… All WHYSayers are soooooo dear to me, and that’s why I always call male WHYSayers ‘Precious’ and female WHYSayers ‘My love’ or ‘honey’, so Shirley my love, Savane my love, and Precious Aghostino, THANK YOU all A MILLION TIMES ! :-).. With my love. Yours forever, Lubna…
@gigglechick
Your post says it all. If it is not good enough for the Queen and Nancy Pelosi, it is not good enough for anyone.
Go to Yorkshire, England.
Everyone is called ‘Love’. It is a part of the Yorkshire dialect. Men call other men love - it is just a way of speaking. I see that people want to embraced diversity - as long as it is their own diversity.
No he shouldn’t have apologised.
it sounds like a double standard….
Dennis~Madrid, United States of America
hello my dears and sweeties,
living in the southwest i am getting persistantly addressed as dear and sweetie and it does not bother me at all, nor does it bother my wife. it just seems the way they address people here and that is fine by me. i am getting a little tired of the PC-brigade.
in my lab we have a pretty un-PC approch to all sorts of things and we have a lot of fun, without anybody getting hurt. i have to say that 100% of my employees are women who are actually relish the fact that they can say what they want and how they want it. it makes for a much opener forum of interaction between them and me and i can rust their work since they come to me and tell if they have effed-up an experiment, using exactly that word. saying that i do not use the word sweetie, since it is alien to me. i do use the word dear, as in “oh dear oh dear”, a bit like gordon ramsey then
now there we Mr not-so-pc…
Do we have a Double Standards…..about being called “SWEETIE”….
I have no problem being called that….
Dennis~Madrid, U.S.A.
+ All the sweetie-is-okay anecdotes are just lovely! Bottom line: it’s unprofessional. Even more so, when you are running for president. Mr. Obama apologized, so apparently he also thought there was something wrong with it—or are we suggesting he is a liar?
- Portland, Oregon
I am a male and I am called sweetie on a regular basis by females. In the United States it’s a endearing phrase commonly used by people in the mid west and southern states. This is another ridiculous distraction from the real issues.
With the continued abuses against women the world over, terms of endearment are the least of our problems. I think it is sweet of Obama to call someone “sweetie”; I like him all the more for it.
Hello, I’m from Germany and it happens not to be customary over here among stranger to call each other pet names, but I know many people from English speaking countries who do it all the time without being sexist or disrepectful when doing it, such as lot’s of people have already said here. British friends of mine add the tag “mate” almost to every other thing they say to another male person al, “thanks, mate” etc. And women called me pumpkin and numerous other pet names …
What I’d really like to add is just this: I’d be REALLY, REALLY FLATTERED if the future president of United States of America, if Barack Obama, happened to call me Sweetie ………….
Best to all of you , Carol
oh, please!!! I have lots of gay male friends, and they all call me sweetie. A real compliment and I feel very endeared. I also had a very good friend in NY who called everyone sweetie, even her boss. we all found it very endearing. is it offensive only from a straight man? get a grip, sweetie!!
The amazon needs to be protected. Also, indigenous peoples must be allowed to stay in their homes. We need to stop blaming the indigenous peoples, and put the blame where it really belongs… rich westerners who already destroyed the forests of North America, and are now trying to destroy the way of life of indigenous peoples so their rights, once again are being subjugated for the benefit of white westerners.
Paul in Liverpool has text messaged us:
I FIND BEING CALLED “SWEETIE” AND “DARLING” BY MEN OFFENSIVE.
OBAMA must be careful the use of words at the tail end of the campaign.Words can be used by opponents to pull him down.I Advice him to talk little and continue to work towards victory
@ Glenys
+ Because everyone gay is doing it, so why can’t we? Good reasoning. Besides the fact everyone gay isn’t doing it, perhaps in the mid-nineties they were; it’s not appropriate in politics. It’s not any sweeter coming from Mr. Obama versus Mr. Bush.
all beautiful gals should call me sweetie,honey,and love just kidding.i dont think there is anything wrong with being called those sweetie words.imagine someone calling u stupid!
It is unacceptable for Obama or any other man to address a woman, other than significant other or maybe their niece or granddaughter, sweetie. It is patronizing and demeaning. By telling her “Hold on one second, sweetie” and then completely ignoring her question, he behaved as an arrogant chauvinist who is only interested in shooing a woman away. Unfortunately this comes as no surprise, as he has on multiple occasions patronized women during his campaign. Telling Clinton that she is “likable enough” is just another example.
Some of the texts you’ve been sending:
Gilbert in Tanzania
Obama take care of your words.know your enemies are looking for your fall by acusing u of seduction.avoid blackmailers.
Abdi in Kenya
It’s very wrong Islamicaly to call a women a ’sweetie’ becoz it’s somehow sexually stimulating language.
Abdi-Rizak from Somalia
Sweetie is just a word expressing a respect and open hearted
Mathhew in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania
Calling women sweety is a phenomen it doesnt reflect them to be sweet like sugar canes!-
Nadia,
but it’s ok for women to call men sweeties?
it’s a manner of speech. i don’t care too much for it but it certainly does not irritate me. or maybhe there are just bigger problems in the world that sweetie or dear.
did you get that sweetie
Hey, Precious Lubna! I love your endearmnents, they always bring a smile to my lips when I read them! LOL! So keep on keeping on!
I agree, our slavish adherence to the rules of the “PC” police can sometimes get the better of us, especially during instances when the stakes are very high. I have had on occassion referred to females as “my dear”, however, it was never intended to be sexual, or offensive. The trick, I think, is to sometimes catch it right when it happens - if it is offensive, that is. So, I give Obama props in the unlikely event that the reporter was offended.
Beyond that, though, I am agreed that there are far more critical issues in the campaign which need to be addressed rather than a mere matter of a meaningless endearment like “sweetie” to a female reporter. No dis!
But, what is interesting, as Carol notes, is that Obama may well be the next US President. In that context, his utterances are all the more parsed and analysed for evidence of “good judgement” or a “love for America” - it does get that ridiculous at times, indeed!
@ Janet T, I am with you on the “have a good one” comment. Those can be a little infuriating coming from total strangers, even people with whom I am familiar can sometimes say the wrong thing by uttering unclear and irrelevant sentences, especially on the ‘not-so-good’ days, that is! LOL!
No, it is not acceptable for women to call their male counterparts sweetie either especially in a professional environment. Brett mentioned that in the south women use “honey” or “sugar” to address men. I think that this form of addressing individuals belongs to the time of Scarlet O’Hara and no longer has any room in our modern society.
I agree that there are many other important problems in the world. But it does not mean that we should ignore the problem of sexism in our country or in an individual who can potentially become our president.
You can call me whatever you want, it is the intent that matters. Some People don’t call me “Dwight” in a tone that is very offensive. Some of my best friends end many sentences in a conversation with me with the term of endearment “a-hole” .
I often get extra food when buying hot dinners at the convenient stores by saying things like “oh babe, you don’t have to do that.” or “whatever you feel like giving me, sweetie”.
words are words and one that offends one person will delight another. you can’t win. so say what’s on your mind. be honest and genuine, and the rest is the individuals problem. “You can call me anything you want except ‘late for dinner’”.
But, Nadia, the reality is that context often determines meaning, no? I am not sure if a univeral application of non-sexist language by the removal of “honey”, “sugar” and “love” from the vocabulary of all Americans would really address the issue of sexism in America or the world, or whereever else for that matter. This is what we are hinting at here, right? (How language, especially that used by poweful people, can sometimes reify the oppression of others).
The reality is that when these rules of “proper conduct” and “political correctness” get taken to these levels it can become really ridiculous and even stand in the way of more meaningful endeavours! In fact, I think more problems can be created where none existed before by teaching people to believe that there is something wrong with their language/ culture. That does not change the need to fight sexism; and, your argument that a potential President of the US may want to consider using more nuetral language that does not get peoples’ defensive up unnecessarilly is well taken in that regard!
When a man gets interpreted as Obama has been interpreted for everything that he said and for every cloth that he HAD to wear, and he gets accused of carrying out romance or revealing the intention to do so because he said ” sweetie” and not because he said “she had sex with me, I did not have sex with her”, we must see those who create these fantastic interpretations as failures who are also desperadoes.
Prince Pieray Odor
Lagos, Nigeria
I use the word sweetie all the time when referring to people. I’m 26 and from the southeastern US, so since I was young I’ve been called and being calling people sweetheart, sweetie, honey, hon, sugar. I’ve been doing this as long as I can remember, and now that I’m a waitress it fits me even more.
I also refer to all men and women, no matter their age as sir and mam when they ask me a question. You would be surprised at how many people outside of the southeast tell you not to call them sir or mam and actually get a little embarrassed when you refer to them in that manner. It’s just polite where I come from.
I agree with the comment above, people that are offended are looking to be offended. Although it does matter which tone the speaker uses to his/her addressee. A secretary at my graduate school today called me a bitch for requesting on behalf of my class that the air conditioning be adjusted. I’m sure though if she would have called me sweetheart instead even with her aggravated state, I wouldn’t have filed the complaint against her.
Heather, you are a riot! LOL!
i hears sir and mam all the time hear in the southwest. people at work call one another sweetie, dear etc and i don’t think it really matters. the problem comes in when the intend is to upset or derogeratize a person. however, you do not need to use sweetie to be derogerative, a simple YOU will do nicly with the right sequence of words to follow….is that clear my dear
i always grin to myself when somebody addresses me as sweetie. at 6 foot 8 it’s pretty hard to look at myself as a sweetie or dear.
Don’t do that, sweetie! And why not, love? And do I care? Maybe I do and maybe I don’t. It all depends, but not on the term. It’s a funny thing that, the word we choose and how it’s used. Sweetie, honey, love, pet, and a dozen others, I’ve been called most but, to my ears, it’s not the word that counts but ‘tone of voice,’ ‘inflection,’ body language… Meaning, intention, inuendo ride for all the world to see and hear on the speaker’s voice and face, they leap or sneak from the eyes, they sit upon the lips, rendering the speaker, try as he/she may, helpless to hide or disguise. How many meanings can any ‘term of endearment’ be made to serve? From insult and threat to genuine affection and devotion, from ugly sneer to innocent address to malicious come-on, these and all shades in-between. Voice, lips, eyes, face, I look to these for their true tale…, and respond as the occasion needs!
The lack of concern for this incredibly patronizing behavior is exactly why I have said for many years that an African American man would definitely be elected over a woman of any race or ethnicity in the U.S. Sexism is not only alive and well, it is supported. I am not a fan of Clinton’s, but I do know that if she were to use language anywhere close to this in addressing a reporter she would be pilloried for it, yet Obama can use this sexist and dismissive term and is essentially given a pass. Obama calls this a ‘habit’. Can you imagine what would happen if anyone had used the word ‘boy’ to address a male reporter, then tried to pass it off as a ‘bad habit’?
I realize that in saying this I am setting myself up for an astonishing level of crude remarks and rudeness, all sanctioned by a culture that says it’s okay to demean women in any way they can.
Even the great can be human, in our age of correctness where every move is put into a a section-Sexist-condescending- prejudice, and so on it is nice to see that there is still a human touch. This man appeals to me more and more, he will make a good President. Lets face it he will have an Army of advisor’s to keep him on course. I bet that reporter is now a made lady, with a recording like that on her machine.
In the North of England it used to be “ducks” i wonder if that is still allowed?, a usual “ello sweetheart,” “or ow are you love”,or “hows life darlin”, were common where i came from, and a girl felt out of it, if it was not said to her.
Wish you all a non sexist, non condescending, and non prejudice day.
John in Germany
PS What a president, our Horst Kohler. Back Bone to the limit
I guess it is very contexual. But here Obama could have avoided. Probably he tried to be a bit informal and crossed a line, that in retrospect shouldn’t have been. But more importantly, it was very good of Obama to have thought over it and tendered an apology.
We sometimes tend to do something that might have looked offensive. The point here is to clarify and be upfront on it rather than be smug and take other people for granted.
These are expressions — the right or wrong of which depends on the personal chemistry and relationship between two people. It’s impossible to black and white on such things and say it is right or wrong.
Here in California service workers will frequently use such pet names for the patrons. Most frequently I am called sweetie by the ladies and “boss” or “big guy” by the guys. In the San Francisco area that gets all mixed up and nobody minds.
It deserved the kind of courtesy apology that one would give when bumping another or treading a toe on an elevator. No more.
It is O.K. HONEY, as long as you have no motives. It is just a term and I have been called as ‘Love’ when I asked for bus routs and directions in London, from ladies not so young, but, pleasant and motherly.
‘Love’
I would love to be called “sweetie” by Barack Obama…
Unfortunately I am no journalist!
Being called “sugar” or “sweetie” by a waitress is hardly the same thing as it being done by, for example, your boss or any other professional setting. It was completely patronizing for Obama to call a female reporter “sweetie”. I haven’t heard him say to male reports, “don’t do that, sweetie.” Incidentally, I grew up in the south (Texas). I was never disrespected or patronized in a professional environment with “enduring” names. I don’t mind if someone calls me sweetie in a restaurants or social events, but at work it is not acceptable. I don’t call my clients or customers, male or female, sweetie. I doubt Michelle Obama would be fine with being called sweetie by the partners in her law firm.
Kuddos to that reporter for standing up for herself. Obama should have apologized.
Kathleen, I completely support your position. I am no Obama hater or Hillary supporter, but am disgusted with the level of sexism is this political campaign. Indeed, sexism is alive and well in the United States. My experience has been that in a professional environment men hate to be called boys or kids–they find it degrading when anyone in senior management call them by these “enduring” names. Last month a male friend and I were at lunch and he told me during an introduction to a new client a partner [in a law firm] said this is the new kid we hired who will be working on your case. The client now treat him as the “copy boy” whose job it is to bring them coffee and not their lawyer.
For the women who don’t agree with me, I’m ok with it. It’s your right. If you are not insulted, that’s ok. I you use the terms, it’s ok. If you like for people to use these terms on you, it’s ok. But we have all earned the right to be respected in the work environment and be treated equally. If one doesn’t like to be called sweetie, one shouldn’t.
@Jessica
I have to agree with you after having see the clip.”Sweetie” was completely patronizing and dismissive of the female reporter. He would not have dared address a male reporter in the same manner. That simple little encounter speaks volumes.
And yes LOLOL I can imagine how Michelle Obama would have reacted. I can’t stop laughing, thinking about it.
This is so laughable. Is this really the best and all anyone can come up with to ctiticise the man. I am more offended that Senator Clinton gets referred to as “Hilary” and not Senator! I only wish that sweetie was the most derogatory name I had been called in my career!
I am in Atlanta for the week attending a conference and most of the people around me would need to stay home if they could not use endearments.
Honestly, it all boils down to context.
If someone uses the term in a patronizing way, then obviously it’s offensive. But if someone intends nothing by it, I think it can be, well, sweet.
In a professional setting, it’s probably not the best term to use and Obama should have known better. Why give your enemies ammunition?
But the man has two daughters. I don’t think he’s sexist. It’s the equivalent of saying “We’ll get to it in a minute, buddy.” to a male reporter.
@ Jessica
The reporter wasn’t offended, nor did she ask for an apology.
My! How language marches on.
I wasn’t in Los Angeles for two weeks before a bank manager (a Latina (female)) called me “mijo,” which she quickly explained meant “dear” or “honey” (a man might call his girlfriend or daughter “mija,” but never another man, unless they’re . . . hey! when did gay stop meaning happy?). But these days even referring to a woman as “honey” might get you a frosty reaction.
Honestly, I think it’s a deplorable waste of air time to obsess about something as innocuous as a man trying to refer to a woman in a friendly way.
More important is Sen. Obama’s position on Iran. He’s for negotiating with Ahmadinajad (and the Syrians, too, I hope) as a means of quelling violence in Iraq, a position I think is correct — but one which is polarizing America right now.
Though one top cabinet official (I forget which one) said yesterday that informal talks with the Iranians was probably a “good idea,” in the Midwest this issue (outside the Wall Street bail-out and the price of fuel) is possibly one of the most polarizing forces in American politics. It divides the country straight down the Democratic and Republican spectrum.
Cooler (wiser) heads want to initiate better relations with Iran and Syria. Unfortunately it’s the hotter heads who often tip elections. And they are absolutely hostile to the idea. I just hope it doesn’t lose the Democrats the election in November.
–Sign me, a poll worker who can’t do any politickin’ this Tuesday. Louisville, Kentucky, US.
I don’t want to be called ’sweetie’, ‘darling’, ‘honey’ or any other term of endearment by anyone other than a very close friend, family or loved one - from anyone else, male or female, whether it’s Barack Obama or Her Majesty the Queen of England, it’s just plain over-familiar and disrespectful. And that goes for getting winked at too!
@Shirley,
If you want something else, other than Sweetie, said about Obama it is his ability to flip flop with the best of them.
He did say he would sit down and talk with the leaders of “so-called” rogue states. Now he is saying he meant something else.
Obama is running on change. There is not much change evident in following the old way of saying whatever it takes to win. That is what politicians do. It was ever thus.
Imagine how much respect Obama would get if he were actually able to stick with what he says in the first place and not change
with the wind!!!
Another point, why did he even respond to Bush’s statements? He should have stayed well clear of it.
Actually, I would have had a bit of fun with that. As Bush did not mention Obama, I would have referred to Jimmy Carter if anyone brought it up. I would have said something like, “President Carter has his opinion and I have mine” and let them think that I thought Bush was referring to Carter.
@Selena,
First, on his website as well as his speeches he still advocates talking to these people. Remember if you are not talking to them you are fight them. We are recruiting high school drop out convicts into the arm as it is. We don’t have any fight left in us.
Secondly, “saying anything to win?” Who wouldn’t remember getting shot at? I know guys who got shot at on a daily basis 40 years ago, but they can still tell you the events surrounding every one of them. How about voting for a war that she now says should have never happened? Maybe she should have read that intelligence report after all. Or how about NAFTA where she is documented as signing her support for it. Now she says she never supported it. What is she going to say when that “gas tax holiday” cost the American people an extra $.40 at the pump?
And McCain? He is a pro amnesty, anti gun law supporting, pro abortionist running on a republican ticket. Just sit back and watch the squirming begin.